However, there comes a time when we have to draw the line and choose actions that might hurt other’s feelings.  Everyone has the right to be happy, and when a relationship becomes one where one person gives in to the other person’s wants nearly all the time, there is a problem.  Sometimes we have to put ourselves first.  And that is hard to teach to children who are expected to be considerate. 

We all have to find our own joy in life, and that joy should not be at the expense of other’s joy. 

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

PS  If you are looking for more information about parenting or virtually any other subject, please visit my new bookstore at PalmettoPointLLC.com.

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They also know that my four kids have turned out to be responsible, kind, loving, and successful.  Sometimes they wonder how I have managed to parent them to this end.

I tell them that it is because from the first moment of their birth, I expected them to become the best they could be.  And I never let up on that message, no matter what challenges of the moment we faced. 
People in general perform only to the level of what is expected of them, so if you want to see great things from someone, expect great things.  My kids knew that they were expected to be respectful, do their best in school, give back to the world, be kind, and complete college.  There were basically no alternative behaviors allowed. 

Of course there have been personal disappointments for the kids, but we managed to get through them.   I have always told them that there is nothing in the world that they could ever do that would make me stop loving them.  They know that I am there for them no matter what happens, but they also know that I expect them to perform at the very best level they can at that particular moment in time. 

I think that has made the difference.  They know that I understand that no one can perform perfectly every moment of every day, but we should all try to do our best on that task at that time.  Then, no matter what the outcome may be, we can feel good about our effort, and move on to the next task. 

We all understand we are not perfect, but we know that no matter what happens, we stick together and support each other.  Just yesterday I had a computer issue at work that I couldn’t resolve on my own.  I called my daughter in Florida and got a great piece of advice from her.  Later, I followed up with my son in St. Louis when another issue came up.  They are there for me just as I’ve always been there for them.

I couldn’t ask for more, and I am blessed.

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

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I have always viewed midnight as a kind of “lets start heading for home” cutoff time for my kids, even though none of them had a set curfew time.  Over the holidays, my youngest has been seriously pushing the edge, and sometimes would not arrive home until after 2 am.  This causes concern for me even though I know where he is (at a friends home), and what hes doing (usually into an xbox marathon session). 

So, a few days ago we had a discussion about this latest trend and how it is related to respect.  I feel that it is a sign of disrespect for him to be out that late when he knows that I am concerned.  I explained that whatever games they play after 12 midnight, could have been played before midnight.  I also explained that on the nights when he works until 10 pm, it might be a good idea to just come home instead of considering that time as a launchpad for his social activities. 

He has concerns for his social status, but I explained that his real friends wont care.  So I was pleased to see that last night, after working until 10 pm again, he called me to say that one of his friends invited him to join an ongoing bowling evening.  Another one wanted him to come play xbox.  I reminded him of our discussion, and grudgingly he came home and didnt make too big a deal about it. 


Today I will tell him I am proud of his decision to come home last night.  We have discussed that in a few months he will be off at college, and I wont have any idea where he is or what he is doing at any given time.  I asked him to be patient with me as we both get better at practicing for that time.  He is just about ready for it and only needs a little more tweaking to get it right. 

And Ive had three other times to practice my role with the three older kids, so I just need a little tweaking too. 

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

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My special gift from my son in Florida arrived yesterday in the mail.  He worked really hard to create a unique calendar for me for 2008 that includes all the special dates in our family as well as a creative collage of family pictures for each month.  It is a calendar that I will treasure forever. 

(By the way, his “technical difficulty” was running out of printer ink!)

 I wish you the best of everything for 2008.

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

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As they opened their gifts, they called me.  Thats how we make our Christmas and birthday celebrations into shared events no matter how far away they are.  We all put the phone on speaker and share the moments of gift unwrapping as if we were physically together. 

As they opened each gift, there was an explanation as to the purpose of the gift (because they were all homemade) :)  

My kids are great and received each gift with all the love that went into its creation.  I think they were touched that I spent so many hours working on them.  Two of the gifts my daughter and son-in-law crafted for me included a fabric remote control holder that tucks into the side of my recliner to keep my remotes and cordless phone in–so I never have to leave the comfort of my chair!  My two sons physically present at my house on Christmas asked her where their remote holder was!! 

The second gift they crafted is a set of four clay pots that they hand painted decoratively.  They added a tray to hold them and four different herb seeds to plant with markers identifying the contents of each pot.  They are so unique and attractive!

My other Florida kid let me know my gift will be a little late as they ran into “technical difficulties.” 

From my two “local” boys I received a computer USB flash drive–something I needed badly, and a pair of flannel pajamas–something I also needed badly!!

My heart overflows.

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

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Christmas draws closer and closer.  I have been pretty successful at the homemade gifts I’ve been working on for my kids.  I only have a couple to finish up tomorrow morning.  The boxes for my two Florida kids will be shipped tomorrow.  I know they may not get there by Christmas, but my family is pretty flexible.  Our Christmas has never really been about the presents, but more about the traditions and time together. 

My third child (second son) got his grades today for the first semester of his senior year of college.  He made the Dean’s List with a 3.6 GPA.  I’m very proud of him. 

Please visit my Christmas website for lots of great stories and family fun at Christmas.

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

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It will be pretty, but I would prefer snow that falls on the grass only.  The roads should be off-limits for snow.  Snow always seems to bring out the kid in everyone. 

Enjoy your family today.  Please visit TheParentingDepot for ideas.

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

For more Parenting and Family Information, please visit More About Parenting and Family Life

I have been looking at several websites that offer handmade gift ideas, and I have found something for everyone on my list.  I have purchased some of the materials and actually completed a couple gifts.  I have more to finish, and I have no doubt I will get them done in time for Christmas. 

It has been fun thinking of things that my grown sons might actually appreciate receiving considering that I don’t have the skills to make electronic items!!  I will keep you updated on my progress over the next few days.

I finish my teaching for the semester tomorrow evening, so I will have more time to finish the gifts.  If you are looking for ideas for gift making or any type of crafting, please visit my Crafts website by CLICKING HERE.

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

For more Parenting and Family Information, please visit More About Parenting and Family Life

We would attend the performance as part of the appreciative audience there to provide the applause on cue for the audio recording for broadcast on the radio at Christmas.  Because it was recorded, we had to pay close attention to eliminating all noise such as coughing or talking.  I remember that being very difficult to be quiet. 

But the wonderful pipe organ music that shook the auditorium during singing of the Hallelujah Chorus made it all worthwhile.  That was my favorite part of all. 

It seems that to our family that started the Christmas season for us.  Anytime after that performance it was okay to put up the tree. 

Another reason the Messiah is so important to me is that my dad continued attending each year even after mom died and we all moved away.  So it reminds me of him too, and that is very special in the years since he died. 

Memories and traditions give us the chance to reflect on all the good in our lives.  It is important to make your own family traditions related to whatever holidays you celebrate.  When my mom was alive, we celebrated every holiday that came along–and when I say celebrated, I mean we decorated the house and had special dinners to celebrate the event.

We put up hearts for Valentine’s Day, shamrocks for St. Patrick–we even made paper May day baskets and put flowers in them and delivered them to neighbor’s doors.  My mom never stopped sharing her love of the holidays with us, and made a lot of great memories for us. 

Create memories for your family by participating in family activities.  Please visit The Parenting Depot for ideas.

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

For more Parenting and Family Information, please visit More About Parenting and Family Life

I have four children who are the lights of my life and continue to amaze me with the type of grown-ups they have become.  All four of them go out of their way to help others and share their knowledge and enthusiasm.  They are givers, not takers.

In life I have found that those are the two basic types of people–givers and takers.  Of course, we all have a little bit of the other in us (the yin and yang of life).  But for the most part it seems people choose to be givers or they choose to be takers.  It doesn’t seem to have much at all to do with your financial status; it seems to have much more to do with your “spiritual” status. 

Givers seem to look at the world as a good place where we should all help each other become the best humans we can be, and Takers seem to look at the world as a hard place where we should all grab the best for ourselves because that’s the only way to success. 

I read somewhere that we should always smile at others as we go through our day, because that may be the only smile they get all day long–and that smile could make all the difference in the world to that person.  I KNOW smiling at others thoughout my days makes ME feel better.  You can’t be angry, sad, or worried when you are genuinely smiling at others.  And you never know what doors will open for you by keeping a positive outlook on life. 

I know the book and movie, The Secret have been discussed and the merits debated for months now, but I know that the five minutes I spend reading my copy each night before I fall asleep has benefited me personally far beyond what I could ever have imagined.  I focus on expecting good in my life, and amazingly every day I experience good.  So many positive wonderful people and experiences have entered into my life simply because I approach my day expecting good.  (It’s kind of like you never noticed all the red cars on the road until you got a red car yourself, and now it seems all you see is red cars.)

So as I close up this post, you might ask what does all this have to do with gratitude?  As I’m lying in bed in the morning, I start every day thinking about all the things in my life for which I am grateful.  Have you noticed that if you give to someone and they express gratitude, you are much more inclined to give to them again?  I am discovering the same thing happens to me.  For me personally, I thank God for all my blessings, but I think God doesn’t really care what descriptive name we use.  There is so much else that is more important for God to be caring about than all our petty conflicts over various religious beliefs. 

I find that when I start my day with gratitude for all the blessings in my life, my day unfolds in amazing ways.  Positive events seem to just appear.  And negative events happen far less frequently. 

Try it and be amazed at the results!  No matter what your challenges in life are, you have something to be grateful for–even if it is that you woke up this morning and the sun came up too!  The saying goes, now you have one more day to try and get it right! 

Until next time,
Beth Stevenson

ps.  Family connections are a big part of what I am grateful for.  You can improve you family connections by enjoying activities together as a family.  Please visit THE PARENTING DEPOT for ideas on family activities you can start.

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